one final and I'm done

My friends, it's called RNAi and I am fascinated by it. There is potential here, but my professor said it's just "so far not so good" for finding any real effectiveness for humans.
It has been several days since my last post... I don't even know what day it is, seriously. The only way I'll really know is that when I post this post, it will have the day I posted it. That's how I plan on finding out what day it is. Why am I so lost? Because my head is filled with all sorts of polymerases and synthetases, ethidium bromide and radiolabeled primers, kung fu and dicing. I tell you, my head is full of information. And before you know it... you start seeing things it like this.

Is that pac man? Molecular biologist seem to always use this comparison. Can you imagine thinking that you've got little green men chewing away at your DNA? And some of them look pretty ferocious. If only it were that easy, right? Some day, friends, someday we will understand it all.

decision making

What the crap? Will somebody please tell me how it's done. I'm all over the place. Yesterday I spent fifteen minutes trying to decide what kind of mineral water I was going to get. Mineral water! What did I want with mineral water? And that's only the beginning (of course. Why else would I be bothering you with it?).

I guess I did get somewhere...

Perrier is much better than San Pellegrino. Or at least I think it is... Shoot! I don't know!

What the crap?!...

vermicious knids

I want to start a band. Who's with me? Ok, so I can't just say that, I know. But sometimes I imagine myself going into the middle of my neighborhood and saying just that...

"I want to start a band. Who's with me?" and people would join me, and we'd be a band. It would be great. No joke.

and whenever I think of vermicous knids this picture comes to my mind.

I actually remember thinking that they were kind of cute little creatures.

But then there is this picture. And I didn't even remember that this picture existed. And so I had to reach into the archives of my brain and a file came up. This is the only word they know how to spell which is why they spell it out right before they are going to attack. And suddenly they don't look so cute anymore, do they... (Truth be told, if you read this entire link that I will now provide for you, you'll learn more than you were expecting. Seriously, read the whole thing. It's pretty cool.)

I would start saying "scram" too, only it really isn't nice... at all... in any context. In fact, I can't think of an instance where I would want to say it. At first I thought maybe I'd want to say it to those darn ants that take a liking to the place where I have chosen to sit on the south side of the HFAC. They crawl all over my books, and my shoes and everything. But no. "Scram" seems even too harsh for them.

And that's another thing. Would I have to say it in a nasally voice with my face all scrunched up? 'Cause that's what I'm picturing here, and I'm not liking that picture.

Maybe I'll just stick to what I normally say when I would like the ants to "scram" as they say: get. That's right, "get". Let the ants infer what they will from that word.

often used in gardens to provide splashes of color

I've been wondering. Can humans be considered annual or perennial? Stick with me here, I know that this connotes (thank you Mrs. C) a certain amount of "death" but that's not what I mean in the literal sense. Let's use the idea of "death" as a sort of breaking down into essential parts in order to gather oneself (Connie would be doubly proud) and rebuild.

In one sense I think I am an annual. It seems like every time I finish a year of school there is a period where things begin to break down and confuse themselves into tiny bits of unrelated "stuff", into proteins and unwanted toxins, sugars, excess cellulose; remnants of a sustaining cell wall that has long lost it's zest for support. In theory my former self passes on. The continuing time period of 2006 doesn't need the 2005-2006 me anymore and so life withers and blurs into seeming chaos in hopes that a brand-new me-plant might benefit from the old.

But lest I begin to wax despondent, it is necessary to say that on the other hand, I might be perennial; paying special attention to the kind of perennial that grows continuously through many seasons only withering periodically those worn out, no-longer-needed parts and replacing them with new variations on a continuing theme. Classes finish, relationships end, routines collapse, but new ones promise to sprout near (but not from) the empty spaces they leave.

So, which will it be? Where do I fall today? What do you experienced gardeners say? And I know you're out there because I learned much of what I know from all of you (and the occasional plant diversity class... please say I got an A).

And in case you didn't look this up but wanted to merely because the sound of it is so cool, here is one definition.

circinate vernations

Did you know that I went to Hawaii? I guess the fact really is that I'm telling you. I went to Hawaii. But of course you knew that.

I'm here to tell you, I found Hawaii well.

We heard all sorts: "It's been raining for the last month!" "It's been raining for the last four weeks, really..." "I haven't seen it rain so much!" "We had quite a bit of rain."

But don't be alarmed. We found sun at Hanauma Bay. In fact, wherever we went, sun followed. My friend Paul found more sun than the rest of us and now has the pleasant experience of watching his epidermis peel off like a, how did he put it? Like a "fruit roll-up". But what's more is that I decided to be more like Lisa, and then and there I began by questioning the honey bee sign. "Do you think they're serious?" But, I think it's obvious... they are. And they weren't exactly honey bees, and you know that I would know.

And they put beans in their slurpees. Ian's right, everybody.

When they say that they are expecting 25,000 people, I just want you to know that they mean 450. But that was good enough for filling up the entire front section and it was good enough for us. I don't even think there are 25,000 students at that university. Honestly, Peyton worked out the percentages (in his head, which is a story in and of itself) and they did pretty well considering (don't you like when people insert "considering" when you know they may not know exactly what they are considering?). It's amazing what a little catering and a little bit of local humor can do .

And I tell you, my dear friends, that three times in one year is never too many. So if you have the opportunity, I think you should take it. Especially if you leave here while it's snowing and return to the spring. Vernal isn't just a city anymore!

I went to Hawaii.

The moral of the story:

Buy a digital camera.

Thank you.

the beginnings of a petition for spring break

Why can't I be like the sand children born of the simple elements of the earth who peacefully pass through their lives repeating "don't ruin my home" under the clear blue sky of southern Utah? Here I sit under floors of concrete and steel making my way through an electronic abyss. If I utter a word, if I even think a word, more words come crashing out of this technological marvel spilling colors, fonts, and links onto my lap like the shattered glass of a rear window. Seriously folks. I've been sitting here for way too long reading about tort law and no-fault litigation getting thoroughly nowhere; especially nowhere near understanding the slightest bit about medical malpractice which is the subject of my bioethics research paper.

And the worst part is... there is no spring break in sight. I'm as enthusiastic about learning as the next guy, but this college senior has about had it with the unbroken string of "school days". They tell me it's so I have a jump start on the summer jobs. I just think it's so the powers-that-be can sit back and watch how long it takes for Spring Fever to turn into a full fledged case of Library Junky complete with the side effects of a hiking withdrawal, and then laugh.

But the secret is... I'm going to Hawaii behind their backs. And no amount of biochemistry is keeping me from the redrock this year. You just wait and see.

and that's why they call me...

My sister named this one Swiss Breakfast. She knows me too well. See, I have this vision where my kids will grow up on breakfasts full of cheeses, museli, room-temperature yogurt, croissants, and nutella--in essence, all that is swiss breakfast--and one day they will come away from some event realizing that not everybody eats the same breakfast as they do. I mean, how many times have you looked in the fridge and thought, "I want to eat my brie and Wasa for breakfast... but that's just not done in these parts." Well, not in my house. I'm breaking the chains of dry cereal breakfasts and asking Marshmellow Mateys to take a back seat (not too far back though). It's whole milk or bust. But before you turn away in a she'll-never-do-that manner, just remember, my sister painted Swiss Breakfast here... and it happens to be a very good likeness too.

thanks for the new look, kel.

why spring is my favorite season

Thank you for the sun! I cannot tell you how great the sun is and I probably don't have to. You know that it has been cold for far too long when you get the sensation of thawing out in the sun. And that's what I feel like; I am thawing out. But not in a soggy-semi-frozen-will-you-"dethaw"-this-for-me-vegetable-product sort of way; rather a look-the-tulips-are-coming-up way.

and that's all I've got folks.

man, this thing really can't go public. it's a shame.

and everything went white

and I don't know how it happened. I don't remember asking it to make everything white. Maybe it's a sign.

It's cold out there...

I'm very cold out there...

Walking to school, I'm very cold out there...

I'm pretty sure it is just going to get colder out there...

Perhaps it helps to know it's cold out there...

It should be warm out there...

I'm not out there...

settings or bust

When to let the blog go "public", if you can even call three sporadic readers the public, is the next question on the list. I have to admit, I have reservations. I mean, every time I come to this blog I think, "Man, this person's blog needs some inspiration!" And then I realize that this blog is my blog and I turn sullen.

That "delete this blog" button is looking awfully tempting.

But perhaps not all is lost. Perhaps one day while sitting near all these computers, I will gain through osmosis the knowledge it will take to unique-ify this blog. Maybe find myself an appropriate avatar (see look, I'm already catching on), or figure out how those one dudes put lobsters behind everything. Not that I want lobsters, but it was kind of cool if not annoying.

Anyway, the fact is that jackie smaz deserves better, and I'm not sure I'm the chosen one. Maybe the computer gods will take pity on me and send me a comment or two on this one. I mean... this strait blue sea of blaa-ness has got to go... somehow.

hmmm...

there is a voice inside of you
that whispers all day long
I know that this is right for me
I feel that this is wrong
no teacher preacher parent friend
or wise man can decide
what's right for you
just listen to
the voice that speaks inside
-shel silverstein

I memorized this poem as a kid. Sometimes when my head is full of nothing, my head fills itself with this... and sometimes shakespeare that I've memorized and no one can place.

yet hear leartes? aboard aboard for shame! the wind sets in the shoulder of your sails and yet you are stayed for?

and I don't know the rest.

to z or not to z

I'm sorry about the title, but it was just too easy... I couldn't pass that up. And so...

I was informed the other day that the jackie smaz I'm thinking of perhaps spelled his name with an extra 'z'. At first I was frustrated. But then a reliable source told me that it's all the better, because I am not jackie smaz (z?). It was really a relief. I was sweatin' bullets there for a minute.

So, I went to ol' google, and asked him if there was anything on jackie smazz, and this thing came up with this goofy looking avatar and a comment that said "I'm male and I'm single" and that just made me frustrated again. I should really avoid google when I can.

So! It's jackie smaz, and I'm sticking to it. I'm not adding an extra 'z' for added effect like the Grizz, and the Freezz, and the Starzz (do they even exist anymore?) did for the Jazz, I'm not stooping to their level, and I'm happy about it.

So here's to jackie smaz. The one who made us laugh. The one who made us cry. The one who didn't discriminate against animals and gave them their time to shine.

seventeen

May I just say, that it's a pleasant surprise to be
reminded that it was in fact my birthday day on the 17th.  Really.
I'm always surprised, as if the number 17 only exists
in February; like it's only really 17 when the number
2 is before it or the word February is after it.  For
example, I don't think I ever think that 17 loaves of
sour dough bread, or 17 plantains are of any
significance to me even though, as my friend always reminds
me, 17 is my birthday, no matter what the occasion.

and I think that's great.