reckless abandon

Today was the day we went in search of Robert Smithson's Spiral Jetty. We set out this morning.

But this is what it would end up looking like for us, more wintry and cold.

And I had a song stuck in my head the majority of the time (please indulge me here):

What I wouldn't give if you could have it all

The sun that's going down

The bed that breaks the fall

The cradle and the bow

So you can take comfort now

You can take comfort now...

Sometimes a heart can break and make it's own relief

The way the cold dark night invites the fire thief

He wants to show us how

So we can take comfort now

We can take comfort now...

Thank you, Hem.

And we also stopped at a place I've been wanting to go to since I learned about it in fourth grade history. I can't believe I've never been until now.

Promontory Point. Indeed, my friends, we stood there in the bitter cold appreciating the silver placard. I'd made it. Check that one off the list. Check. Check.

a·ban·don

–noun
a complete surrender to natural impulses without restraint or moderation; freedom from inhibition or conventionality: to dance with reckless abandon.

Lloyd George is a cool cat

After the others had grown weary of the game, my friend and I continued to play what I was told was called "Take Two". I'm sure you've all played this game before. You use Scrabble tiles all face down in the middle of the table. You rush to make words before the next guy says "take two" at which time you take two more tiles and the game goes on. Anyway, the details of the game aren't necessarily that important. But my friend and I were playing, as the others had grown weary, and both of our tile grids were migrating into the other; it was taking an awful long time . I learned a lot of words during the game, but this one was near the very end and the word "shoal" stuck out to me.

shoal

–noun
1. a place where a sea, river, or other body of water is shallow.
2. a sandbank or sand bar in the bed of a body of water, esp. one that is exposed above the surface of the water at low tide.

I had used the word in my grid but had no idea if it was even a word. "Erm... eh... is this a word?" The others examined my tiles.

–adjective
3. of little depth, as water; shallow.

"Of course not!" laughed my competitor, "what does it mean then?" I could have sworn that I'd read it somewhere, but I couldn't pull up the definition. "Uh..."

–verb (used without object)
4. to become shallow or more shallow.

Then, someone came to my rescue. "What?!? That's a word! Seriously, you guys..." and he rattled off his definitions. He was so frustrated at our ignorance that he was slightly incoherent and I couldn't quite make out what he was saying.

–verb (used with object)
5. to cause to become shallow.
6. Nautical. to sail so as to lessen the depth of (the water under a vessel).

And indeed, it is a word, or so says the dictionary. I'm pretty sure I'm going to use this word again sometime. I mean, noun, adjective, and verb! I can't resist.

p.s. if you knew this word already and your intelligence is feeling slightly insulted as a result of this post, please send it my regards and express my sincere apology.

good things happen to good people

Last night I came home and decided to read a bit before I went to sleep. I find that I decide to do this at the worst times of the day. This particular time was 2:11 am. Yes, I should have been sleeping so that I could get up early and check my old tests and annotated bibliography score and then give a Biology 100 review session, but... well, I have no real reason. I wanted to read. I guess that's enough.

I began where I left off in Daniel Pinkwater's The Snarkout Boys and the Avocado of Death where Walter and the gang set out with Osgood Sigerson in search of Rat's Uncle Flipping. And all of a sudden Sigerson said this, "I'm going to go reconnoiter," just after leaving a security guard trapped in cocoon of scotch tape (part of the plan, you know).

So:

re·con·noi·ter
v. To make a preliminary inspection of, especially in order to gather military information.

We can thank Todd for this one. He's the one that suggested the book to me, you know, to read when I needed to think of something else. I don't know if he meant so early in the morning, but hey.

I'm so lucky to have people looking out for me.

should have been word of the day in february

So, I was having this conversation with my friend, amethyst. She said she had a contribution for the vocab list, and since I was only coming up with scientific words that mean but one thing and one thing only (I love science, but seriously), I decided I'd take the English major's side of things.

me: I was going to tell you something... oh!
please make a suggestion for the vocab blog
do you have one right now?

ame: i do
do you want to know it?
ludic
bess taught me

me: who is bess?

ame: my computer

me: ha ha ha
her name is bess? that's great
so... tell me the story if you would

ame: i was reading bourdieu and he said "...quasi-ludic"
and i said "bess, what does ludic mean?"
and she said "lu-dic: loodik adjective Formal

showing spontaneous and undirected playfulness.

ORIGIN: 1940s: from French ludique, from Latin ludere \'to play\', from ludus \'sport\'"

i didn't ask about quasi cause i already knew and then i used that passage in my paper

me: very cool

and so, there it is: ludic. So how many of you knew what that meant? And even more intriguing, how many of you have used this word?

because International Cinema had technical difficulties

So what am I supposed to make of the guy sitting next to me in the library using a lighter and a hunting knife to sear his recently incurred wound? I don't think I'd think twice about it except for the fact that he has also been talking to himself, or the computer really, ever since I got here. There's really nothing inherently wrong with talking to the computer, or yourself, while you work, but adding the searing wound bit makes it different... maybe. Ha ha ha. The best part is that I heard the *snick* of the lighter and looked over just in time to see him realize what he was doing and scan suspiciously around for any sort of library official. I also got a lucky glimpse of the wound: a small nick on the middle finger of his left hand. That explains the frustrated, "Dangit!" coming from his direction a few minutes earlier. Ah, when you've got time on your hands.

Ooo! Ooo! And I just witnessed my first guy being excited after getting a date! No joke, I thought all that discussion about having to pump yourself up before asking someone on a date and then feeling triumphant when it actually works out the way you want it to was all fable! I mean, I knew that's probably what I'd have to do being the person that I am, but I thought guys were much too suave and understandingly confident for it to be really true. Perhaps I just thought it was a story they told us girls knowing that it might make us feel, you know, a little more special. Now that I say that outloud, it sounds quite naive. Well, I'm glad to be proven wrong. And indeed he looked triumphant. That's enough to make anyone's day! My friends, my day has been made.

ex‧ult‧ant  adj.
exulting; highly elated; jubilant; triumphant.

dec·li·na·tion n.

1. A sloping or bending downward.

This word came first thing this morning after I had finished printing off my assignment and settled in Evolutionary Biology. Perhaps the reason so many of my new words come from this place is because of my professor. They tell me he's the best in his field and is often consulted by the big wigs of Evolution. He's written official papers and debated for several different organizations. He knows what he's talking about. And he's wacky. Today he told us that our campus has a PDA problem and perhaps that's what is what we need to get rid of before people really begin to respect our university. I don't know if his disdain for the subject was more entertaining than his obvious delight in his wittiness or vice versa. Either way, that's what I remember him saying today.

2. A falling off, especially from prosperity; a decline.

But he didn't use declination under that circumstance. Rather, it was in relation to varves, temperate lakes, and meadows.

3. A deviation, as from a specific direction or standard.

So, I'm not sure how much this word will be recalled in my memory or if I'll ever find a practical use for it. Still, there is one more definition that I could find a use for.

4. A refusal to accept.

With this definition, wouldn't I sound snazzy waving that word around like it aint no thing?

(this isn’t just a platitude):

plat·i·tude: n.
A trite or banal remark or statement, especially one expressed as if it were original or significant.

This is a new word for me (which is not uncommon). It was presented to me by a person and at a time where I needed to find meaning in anything. There are those times. I was talking to my friend Cate about it. We were in swim class and as I jumped into the water I got the strangest sensation. I began to cry. Something about being thrust into a wet environment from a dry one must have given me a jolt. Seriously I was holding back the tears. "What the...?" I wasn't hurt, I was just cold. I turned to Cate, "Is this normal?" And we both agreed that there are those times.

So, I'm going to learn a new word everyday and I'm going to make note of the circumstances under which I learned it. Then I'll analyze and see if the way one learns about a word affects the amount one will use it in the future. Here goes.

evolutionary biology

This is my next big project in school. Wolbachia: a crazy little bacterium with a crazy background. You might also find it interesting.

black days

I think I know what this means now.

Maybe I don't like learning as much as I thought I did.

cool things that have recently happened

1. Spanish Fork Canyon ablaze with color
2. My niece was born
3. Memorized 100+ plants (Family, species, and common name)
4. Planning for the big event has begun
5. Market Street was open for Dec. 30th
6. Had dinner with the Kellys (finally)
7. It rained... no worms!
8. Tested our own recipe for Italian sodas
9. Found out that sparkling water is better than club soda
10. Discovered that I have limits, who knew?
11. Got to make popcorn in one of those old machines
12. Learned that I love pepper jack cheese (Tillamook!)
13. Updated my blog

i am the lorax, i speak for the trees

One of my favorite books, as you know. And I think I have a favorite Dr. Seuss moment. It's a good one, so I share it with you now.

A friend of mine, and consequently the friend who gave me the book as a gift, sat down to read The Lorax for the first time. He read it slowly taking in not only the words but the actual colors and contrasts which makes this book fun to read. In the middle of the story, just as the exposition begins to turn into climax, he was interrupted by an obligation he had to attend to and he got up to leave. As he said his farewells I saw that the book was among the items tucked under his arm to take home. "Are you taking that?" I asked, thinking he had inadvertently forgotten it was in his hand. "Of course," he replied, "I have to finish it."

By the way, have you read Horton Hears a Who? If not, let that be the next Dr. Seuss book you read. I think you'll like it.

and it doesn't even involve a bit of meteorite

Have you guys ever been scuba diving in the Homestead crater?

Because if you haven't I think you would like it. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, there is absolutely nothing to see in there. In fact, you're lucky if you can even see. So maybe what I'm actually saying is, you need to go scuba diving and if that means it brings you the the Homestead crater then you should do that too.

Why do I tell you all of this? Because friends, I am scuba certified... for life. That's right, for life. I can go scuba diving where ever and whenever my checkbook takes me. And not only that, but I've now been inside that mysterious crater! Don't you remember being kids and thinking, what is down there? Well, at the risk of ruining the surprise for you... it's hot, and it's dark, and when there are few too many scuba students in there, it's a little crowded and silty (is that a word?).

But my scuba buddy (he's a pretty cool buddy) and I, we won the treasure hunt. Basically that means we found all the plastic sea creatures they hide down there in order to make you feel like you're actually doing something cool. I think we get a candy bar for that.

one final and I'm done

My friends, it's called RNAi and I am fascinated by it. There is potential here, but my professor said it's just "so far not so good" for finding any real effectiveness for humans.
It has been several days since my last post... I don't even know what day it is, seriously. The only way I'll really know is that when I post this post, it will have the day I posted it. That's how I plan on finding out what day it is. Why am I so lost? Because my head is filled with all sorts of polymerases and synthetases, ethidium bromide and radiolabeled primers, kung fu and dicing. I tell you, my head is full of information. And before you know it... you start seeing things it like this.

Is that pac man? Molecular biologist seem to always use this comparison. Can you imagine thinking that you've got little green men chewing away at your DNA? And some of them look pretty ferocious. If only it were that easy, right? Some day, friends, someday we will understand it all.

decision making

What the crap? Will somebody please tell me how it's done. I'm all over the place. Yesterday I spent fifteen minutes trying to decide what kind of mineral water I was going to get. Mineral water! What did I want with mineral water? And that's only the beginning (of course. Why else would I be bothering you with it?).

I guess I did get somewhere...

Perrier is much better than San Pellegrino. Or at least I think it is... Shoot! I don't know!

What the crap?!...

vermicious knids

I want to start a band. Who's with me? Ok, so I can't just say that, I know. But sometimes I imagine myself going into the middle of my neighborhood and saying just that...

"I want to start a band. Who's with me?" and people would join me, and we'd be a band. It would be great. No joke.

and whenever I think of vermicous knids this picture comes to my mind.

I actually remember thinking that they were kind of cute little creatures.

But then there is this picture. And I didn't even remember that this picture existed. And so I had to reach into the archives of my brain and a file came up. This is the only word they know how to spell which is why they spell it out right before they are going to attack. And suddenly they don't look so cute anymore, do they... (Truth be told, if you read this entire link that I will now provide for you, you'll learn more than you were expecting. Seriously, read the whole thing. It's pretty cool.)

I would start saying "scram" too, only it really isn't nice... at all... in any context. In fact, I can't think of an instance where I would want to say it. At first I thought maybe I'd want to say it to those darn ants that take a liking to the place where I have chosen to sit on the south side of the HFAC. They crawl all over my books, and my shoes and everything. But no. "Scram" seems even too harsh for them.

And that's another thing. Would I have to say it in a nasally voice with my face all scrunched up? 'Cause that's what I'm picturing here, and I'm not liking that picture.

Maybe I'll just stick to what I normally say when I would like the ants to "scram" as they say: get. That's right, "get". Let the ants infer what they will from that word.

often used in gardens to provide splashes of color

I've been wondering. Can humans be considered annual or perennial? Stick with me here, I know that this connotes (thank you Mrs. C) a certain amount of "death" but that's not what I mean in the literal sense. Let's use the idea of "death" as a sort of breaking down into essential parts in order to gather oneself (Connie would be doubly proud) and rebuild.

In one sense I think I am an annual. It seems like every time I finish a year of school there is a period where things begin to break down and confuse themselves into tiny bits of unrelated "stuff", into proteins and unwanted toxins, sugars, excess cellulose; remnants of a sustaining cell wall that has long lost it's zest for support. In theory my former self passes on. The continuing time period of 2006 doesn't need the 2005-2006 me anymore and so life withers and blurs into seeming chaos in hopes that a brand-new me-plant might benefit from the old.

But lest I begin to wax despondent, it is necessary to say that on the other hand, I might be perennial; paying special attention to the kind of perennial that grows continuously through many seasons only withering periodically those worn out, no-longer-needed parts and replacing them with new variations on a continuing theme. Classes finish, relationships end, routines collapse, but new ones promise to sprout near (but not from) the empty spaces they leave.

So, which will it be? Where do I fall today? What do you experienced gardeners say? And I know you're out there because I learned much of what I know from all of you (and the occasional plant diversity class... please say I got an A).

And in case you didn't look this up but wanted to merely because the sound of it is so cool, here is one definition.

circinate vernations

Did you know that I went to Hawaii? I guess the fact really is that I'm telling you. I went to Hawaii. But of course you knew that.

I'm here to tell you, I found Hawaii well.

We heard all sorts: "It's been raining for the last month!" "It's been raining for the last four weeks, really..." "I haven't seen it rain so much!" "We had quite a bit of rain."

But don't be alarmed. We found sun at Hanauma Bay. In fact, wherever we went, sun followed. My friend Paul found more sun than the rest of us and now has the pleasant experience of watching his epidermis peel off like a, how did he put it? Like a "fruit roll-up". But what's more is that I decided to be more like Lisa, and then and there I began by questioning the honey bee sign. "Do you think they're serious?" But, I think it's obvious... they are. And they weren't exactly honey bees, and you know that I would know.

And they put beans in their slurpees. Ian's right, everybody.

When they say that they are expecting 25,000 people, I just want you to know that they mean 450. But that was good enough for filling up the entire front section and it was good enough for us. I don't even think there are 25,000 students at that university. Honestly, Peyton worked out the percentages (in his head, which is a story in and of itself) and they did pretty well considering (don't you like when people insert "considering" when you know they may not know exactly what they are considering?). It's amazing what a little catering and a little bit of local humor can do .

And I tell you, my dear friends, that three times in one year is never too many. So if you have the opportunity, I think you should take it. Especially if you leave here while it's snowing and return to the spring. Vernal isn't just a city anymore!

I went to Hawaii.

The moral of the story:

Buy a digital camera.

Thank you.

the beginnings of a petition for spring break

Why can't I be like the sand children born of the simple elements of the earth who peacefully pass through their lives repeating "don't ruin my home" under the clear blue sky of southern Utah? Here I sit under floors of concrete and steel making my way through an electronic abyss. If I utter a word, if I even think a word, more words come crashing out of this technological marvel spilling colors, fonts, and links onto my lap like the shattered glass of a rear window. Seriously folks. I've been sitting here for way too long reading about tort law and no-fault litigation getting thoroughly nowhere; especially nowhere near understanding the slightest bit about medical malpractice which is the subject of my bioethics research paper.

And the worst part is... there is no spring break in sight. I'm as enthusiastic about learning as the next guy, but this college senior has about had it with the unbroken string of "school days". They tell me it's so I have a jump start on the summer jobs. I just think it's so the powers-that-be can sit back and watch how long it takes for Spring Fever to turn into a full fledged case of Library Junky complete with the side effects of a hiking withdrawal, and then laugh.

But the secret is... I'm going to Hawaii behind their backs. And no amount of biochemistry is keeping me from the redrock this year. You just wait and see.

and that's why they call me...

My sister named this one Swiss Breakfast. She knows me too well. See, I have this vision where my kids will grow up on breakfasts full of cheeses, museli, room-temperature yogurt, croissants, and nutella--in essence, all that is swiss breakfast--and one day they will come away from some event realizing that not everybody eats the same breakfast as they do. I mean, how many times have you looked in the fridge and thought, "I want to eat my brie and Wasa for breakfast... but that's just not done in these parts." Well, not in my house. I'm breaking the chains of dry cereal breakfasts and asking Marshmellow Mateys to take a back seat (not too far back though). It's whole milk or bust. But before you turn away in a she'll-never-do-that manner, just remember, my sister painted Swiss Breakfast here... and it happens to be a very good likeness too.

thanks for the new look, kel.

why spring is my favorite season

Thank you for the sun! I cannot tell you how great the sun is and I probably don't have to. You know that it has been cold for far too long when you get the sensation of thawing out in the sun. And that's what I feel like; I am thawing out. But not in a soggy-semi-frozen-will-you-"dethaw"-this-for-me-vegetable-product sort of way; rather a look-the-tulips-are-coming-up way.

and that's all I've got folks.

man, this thing really can't go public. it's a shame.

and everything went white

and I don't know how it happened. I don't remember asking it to make everything white. Maybe it's a sign.

It's cold out there...

I'm very cold out there...

Walking to school, I'm very cold out there...

I'm pretty sure it is just going to get colder out there...

Perhaps it helps to know it's cold out there...

It should be warm out there...

I'm not out there...

settings or bust

When to let the blog go "public", if you can even call three sporadic readers the public, is the next question on the list. I have to admit, I have reservations. I mean, every time I come to this blog I think, "Man, this person's blog needs some inspiration!" And then I realize that this blog is my blog and I turn sullen.

That "delete this blog" button is looking awfully tempting.

But perhaps not all is lost. Perhaps one day while sitting near all these computers, I will gain through osmosis the knowledge it will take to unique-ify this blog. Maybe find myself an appropriate avatar (see look, I'm already catching on), or figure out how those one dudes put lobsters behind everything. Not that I want lobsters, but it was kind of cool if not annoying.

Anyway, the fact is that jackie smaz deserves better, and I'm not sure I'm the chosen one. Maybe the computer gods will take pity on me and send me a comment or two on this one. I mean... this strait blue sea of blaa-ness has got to go... somehow.

hmmm...

there is a voice inside of you
that whispers all day long
I know that this is right for me
I feel that this is wrong
no teacher preacher parent friend
or wise man can decide
what's right for you
just listen to
the voice that speaks inside
-shel silverstein

I memorized this poem as a kid. Sometimes when my head is full of nothing, my head fills itself with this... and sometimes shakespeare that I've memorized and no one can place.

yet hear leartes? aboard aboard for shame! the wind sets in the shoulder of your sails and yet you are stayed for?

and I don't know the rest.

to z or not to z

I'm sorry about the title, but it was just too easy... I couldn't pass that up. And so...

I was informed the other day that the jackie smaz I'm thinking of perhaps spelled his name with an extra 'z'. At first I was frustrated. But then a reliable source told me that it's all the better, because I am not jackie smaz (z?). It was really a relief. I was sweatin' bullets there for a minute.

So, I went to ol' google, and asked him if there was anything on jackie smazz, and this thing came up with this goofy looking avatar and a comment that said "I'm male and I'm single" and that just made me frustrated again. I should really avoid google when I can.

So! It's jackie smaz, and I'm sticking to it. I'm not adding an extra 'z' for added effect like the Grizz, and the Freezz, and the Starzz (do they even exist anymore?) did for the Jazz, I'm not stooping to their level, and I'm happy about it.

So here's to jackie smaz. The one who made us laugh. The one who made us cry. The one who didn't discriminate against animals and gave them their time to shine.

seventeen

May I just say, that it's a pleasant surprise to be
reminded that it was in fact my birthday day on the 17th.  Really.
I'm always surprised, as if the number 17 only exists
in February; like it's only really 17 when the number
2 is before it or the word February is after it.  For
example, I don't think I ever think that 17 loaves of
sour dough bread, or 17 plantains are of any
significance to me even though, as my friend always reminds
me, 17 is my birthday, no matter what the occasion.

and I think that's great.